On the homestretch

I left Danzig in the dead of night.

Okay, so I left at 6.30 am, but I needed a reason to post one more night picture of Danzig. So, "dead of night" = 6.30 am. Tell your friends! Seven hours later, I was in Berlin.

Danzig shipyards

Since I was at the shipyard gate already (and since I have an as-yet-unexplained fondness for shipyards), I decided to venture a little further.

 

The Danzig shipyards have fallen on hard times (almost 90% job loss), with the result that there are a lot of old, abandoned buildings. A couple of them have been turned into kind-of-neat-but-definitely-weird art galleries.

Foreground: shredded-magazine bales which can be compressed into shredded-magazine bricks. Background: Stalinist machine to produce the perfect worker, reproduced from contemporary sources (with some creative gap-filling, I'd guess).

This is a moveable chapel designed for people who want to marry buildings (have y'all seen that documentary about the woman who married the Eiffel Tower?) - it can be pushed up against the corner of the building and provides a "quiet, contemplative" atmosphere for the ceremony. 

Other buildings have just been boarded up and surrounded by meaningless signs like the one below. I mean, it might say "private property", but it's not like I can read Polish. Pretty ambiguous, I'd say.

Anyway, check out what you get to see if you ignore the signs!

 Yeah!

Solidarnosc

In 1980, while Poland was still under communist rule, Danzig's shipyard workers went on strike. The Solidarity trade union was formed and the concessions they won were the beginning of the end for communism in Europe. This is the shipyard gate in 1980, when thousands of people waited outside for news of the strikes.

And this is the shipyard gate in 2012. On the right you can see the two boards where the shipyard workers wrote their list of demands. Most of them were the sorts of things that every worker everywhere should be entitled to (and they were, in large part, granted), but the one that made me laugh was three years of paid maternity leave. "And we're still waiting."

 

Of course, it wasn't an easy path from the strikes of 1980 to the fall of communism in Europe. The communist regime struck back with a wave of pretty vicious oppression in 1981 and things definitely got worse before they got better. Members of the resistance started wearing electrical resistors as a sign of their opposition to the regime. Cool, yes?

An aside: While I was in Danzig, the hero of the shipyard strikes and former president of Poland, Lech Walesa, publicly endorsed Mitt Romney. You were doing so well, dude! What happened?

Danzig through life

How do I like thee, Danzig? Let me count the ways:

I like your riverfront, especially at night, when the strollers have strolled home.

I like your graffiti, even if some of it is a little whiny.

I like your abandoned warehouses, even if I don't get to explore them because I don't fancy getting arrested in a country where I can't explain why they shouldn't arrest me.

 I like your rowhouses and I like imagining I live on all six floors of this one. 

I like how much these punks are enjoying this organ grinder and his parrot.

I like your impromptu art galleries.

I like this guy using an iPad as a camera (or at least I like laughing at him).

 I like how none of the buildings in your market square really "match",

but they still look awesome together.

And I like the fact that you can buy individual pickles in your supermarkets.

Westerplatte - where World War II began

By the terms of the Treaty of Versailles in 1919, Danzig (formerly a part of the German Empire) became the Free City of Danzig ("a semi-autonomous city-state" - Wikipedia). Poland had the right to use parts of the port and to represent the Free City in dealings with the outside world, but the UN didn't want to just go ahead and give it to Poland because the population was 95% German. Sound complicated? It was. And also, nobody was happy. Germany really wanted Danzig back and the Poles complained that everyone in Danzig was mean to them even though the UN said they were allowed to be there.

Fast-forward to 1939: the German battleship Schleswig-Holstein anchors at the Polish harbour of Westerplatte (just a few kilometres north of Danzig) on a "courtesy visit", but by this time the Poles know that it's only a matter of time until the Germans attack, so they've secretly been fortifying Westerplatte with guardhouses and extra troops. Sure enough, on the 1st of September, German troops fire on Westerplatte and World War II begins. Long history short, the "Defenders of Westerplatte", who were supposed to be able to hold out for 12 hours (long enough for reinforcements to arrive), held out for seven days before they surrendered.

That's why they got this very sixties monument from the communists, who tried to leverage this story of Polish heroism into support for their regime.

On my second day in Danzig, I took a boat up the river to Westerplatte and wandered through the forest for a couple of hours. There's not a lot left, but there's quite a good outdoor exhibit and you can walk through the barracks, which gives you an idea of the damage that Westerplatte sustained.

A last note: the German commander who accepted the eventual surrender was so impressed by the Polish defense that he allowed the Polish commander to keep his ceremonial sabre in captivity, which is apparently a sign of soldierly respect. It's also the kind of story that makes me cry.

Next stop: Danzig

What the title says! Want to guess how much it cost me to get here from Warsaw (hint: it's 350 km and 6 hours on the train)? Give up? 33 zloty or EIGHT. EUROS. Three cheers for Poland and no cheers for Deutsche Bahn!

First things first, Danzig has a gorgeous train station (above). Apparently there's a carbon copy of it in Japan, but there it's a wedding chapel. I have been unable to verify this information, but I'm considering it legit because I think it's funny.

I like most harbour cities and so far Danzig is no exception, except that it's afflicted with the universal curse of the seaside: strollers. And not the kind with babies in them, but those people who walk so slowly that you swear they must be forming the impulse to move each leg separately in their brains before carrying it out. Where a normal person thinks, "Hey, I'll just walk over there," a stroller thinks, "Hey, I'll move my left foot forward. Oh man, that was a huge success. Let's try the right one, just for kicks! Wow, that was great. How about trying the left one again?" It's almost like they're "enjoying the journey" or something.

WWW

On my first day in Warsaw, I spent a couple of hours wandering around the Warsaw Uprising Museum* wondering when they were going to mention the Jews. They never did and that's how I found out about the second (and arguably more interesting) Warsaw uprising. Good story. Although the Warsaw Ghetto uprising doesn't have its own museum, it does have another one of those ground-level memorials I like so much - this strip inlaid into the pavement, which traces the former path of the ghetto wall.

In contrast to Krakow, which suffered very little physical damage during WWII, Warsaw's old town was basically annihilated, partly during the fighting and partly as a giant "fuck you" to the Polish resistance once the Nazis regained control of the city. It's been so beautifully rebuilt that UNESCO put it on the World Heritage list, but in parts of the city that were not totally destroyed and rebuilt, you can still see the bullet holes.

Later, I was watching Polish MTV (par-tay!) and discovered this topical music video from a Swedish band called Sabaton. It's essentially a history lesson packaged as a rock song, but I like it; it's totally going on my mp3 player.

*side note about the Warsaw Uprising Museum: it was the most confusing museum I've ever been to and not just because I didn't know there was a Warsaw uprising until I visited it. Four massive floors with no clear plan and soooo many unnecessary interactive elements (open this drawer! slide this panel! pull this lever! push this button!). I hate it when a museum with so much interesting information ends up confusing me into boredom instead.

Threat level aubergine

I know I said that the Palace of Culture seemed vaguely threatening, but I think this picture takes it up a notch to distinctly. Most suitable verb: LOOMING. Or BROODING.

I confess

I may have judged Warsaw prematurely. It's actually quite charming... I think it just took me a while to see it. I also think I'm unreasonably prejudiced by the fact that it's a million degrees Celsius with 112% humidity. There's no such thing as a nice city at that temperature.

 

This man is selling fur hats during a heat wave. That's charming! Or crazy! Or both!

I love the fact that the word 'museum' is pretty standard throughout Europe. They say that love is the universal language, but I'm pretty sure it's museums.

A pretentiously-titled building

The Palace of Culture is the biggest building in Warsaw; it's great for orienting yourself, because you can see it from almost anywhere. It's a relic of "socialist realism", the only style of architecture (and art) officially approved by the communists. The story goes that Stalin asked the people of Warsaw if they wanted a Palace of Culture or a metro system. They said a metro system, so Stalin gave them a Palace of Culture. To be fair, they should have known that Stalin would be all about reverse psychology.

One of the guidebooks referred to it as Gotham-esque, and I think that's pretty accurate. Which isn't to say it's ugly... it's big and blocky, but it's got a certain monumental charm. It does seem vaguely threatening, though.

I probably won't stay in Warsaw forever

I don't know exactly what to say about Warsaw. It's beautiful. It has some cool museums. It has lots of history - periods of Nazi and communist occupation, two epic uprisings against the Nazis (one in the Jewish ghetto in 1943 and a more general one in 1944, during which Varsovians briefly reclaimed their city). I should love it just as much as I loved Krakow, but I don't. It's nice though! Worth a visit!

I like this picture because I look forward to, at some point, explaining to future generations what the hell a Segway was. Or who knows, maybe by then we'll all be driving (riding?) them and this will be where it all began.

Bye Krakow

All good things come to an end, and this visit to Krakow is no exception. On to Warsaw! But first, more pictures of Krakow! Did you know that Krakow has the largest public square in Europe (200 metres by 200 metres) and was laid out according to Magdeburg Law (named after the city in Germany), which set out urban planning codes and a system of government for many medieval cities? Well, now you do. Did you also know that the Nazis used this German connection as a reason for "reclaiming" Krakow during the Second World War? Oh Nazis, you and your threadbare excuses...

Zakopane

On my last day in Krakow, I woke up at 5 am to take the bus to Zakopane, a little resort town in Poland's Tatra Mountains which is so close to Slovakia that I kept getting "Welcome to Slovakia" text messages. I told the guy at tourist information that I wanted to take an easy hike - he took one look at my yoga pants and old runners and apparently decided I needed a really easy hike, so he recommended the park's most popular tourist trail. It winds up the mountain to a hut where you can get a hot chocolate, which sounded good to me.

Mistake! There were about 300 cars in the parking lot and the "trail" could have been a two-lane highway in Saskatchewan. There were lots of people in sandals and even one girl in (low-ish, but still) wedge heels. I decided to flee at the first opportunity.

 
I held out for about 2 km before I got really annoyed and cut off the "trail" onto the first path into the trees. The signs were in Polish, so I didn't know exactly where I was going, only that it would take about two hours and 20 minutes to get there. I ended up in a nice meadow, which may or may not have been my intended destination.

 

 

The weather wasn't great, but there were wild blueberries and best of all, not many people (although there was one very bored school group, armed with mp3 players and iPhones, who were definitely not enjoying nature). At some point I remembered that there are probably bears in Poland (Google has since confirmed this) and questioned my judgement before deciding it would probably be okay. And it was!

One of these things is not like the others

Remember that annoying icebreaker game, two truths and a lie? Let's play! I'll go first.

1. This goulash in a bread bowl was delicious.

2. This cold, pink soup was delicious.

3. This grilled mountain cheese with cranberry sauce was delicious.

Any guesses? Okay, fine, number 2 is the lie. It looked so promising (it's pink, guys), but it tasted just awful. There were lots of green slimy things (leaves, maybe) floating in it and a whole boiled egg just sitting at the bottom of the bowl (by far the best part). Later I asked the receptionist at the hostel what it was called and she enthusiastically started telling me about the different recipes and I was too polite to tell her that the only reason I wanted to know what it's called is so that I can make sure to never, ever eat it again.

Auschwitz/Birkenau

You should know that I've wanted to visit Auschwitz for a long time. I've been to a few concentration camps in Germany and probably won't go to any more, but Auschwitz has a special distinction, for lack of a better word, as the worst of the worst and that's why I thought it would be worth visiting.

So first let me say, Auschwitz: totally worth visiting.

Normally I'm not a huge fan of guided tours around museums because they don't give you enough time to read every single word on every single sign in every single room. But I have to say that the guided tour at Auschwitz was a good decision (I say "decision", but actually they won't let you visit alone between 10 am and 3 pm). The guide was incredibly well-informed and struck exactly the right tone. He didn't fall into the trap of spending four hours over-using adjectives to describe how terrible the camps were; he just showed us around and explained what we were seeing. Auschwitz kind of speaks for itself. So 5 stars for the guide, really.

Auschwitz in 2012 looks a lot like a college campus during Orientation Week, with rows of tidy brick buildings and lots of people wandering around looking confused and a little scared. Of course, during the Second World War the lawns were mud and filth and there were people dying or being killed all around. I didn't take any pictures of the rooms full of hair, shoes, brushes, suitcases, spectacles, or children's toys which were just a small fraction of the things stolen from the prisoners either before or after they were killed. You can find pictures on Google if you're interested, but I think they lose something in a photograph.

What struck me the most was the awful hypocrisy of the camps. There was a document on display (below) in which the SS ordered a truck to pick up "materials for the Jewish resettlement" from a nearby town. By "materials for the Jewish resettlement", they meant canisters of Zyklon B, which they would use in the gas chambers. And they knew this when they wrote the document. And the way they disguised the gas chambers as showers... they didn't just tell the people they were about to murder that they were showers, they went to the trouble of installing fake showerheads and a dressing room with hooks, where the prisoners were told to hang their clothes and remember where they left them so they could find them later. And again, the people who relayed these orders were 100% aware that they were about to kill these people. Like, if you're so proud of what you're doing, own up to it! If it's not a terrible, terrible thing to do, why do you have to hide it?

 

Later in the tour we took the bus to Birkenau, the camp the SS built when they realized they weren't killing people efficiently enough at Auschwitz. At Birkenau, the train could pull right into the camp to offload prisoners and half of the barracks were wood, rather than brick, which offered even less protection to the prisoners during cold Polish winters. A great achievement, I'm sure.

Birkenau was not as well-preserved as Auschwitz - after liberating both camps, the Russian Army dismantled a lot of the barracks at Birkenau; the war was still on and they needed the wood - and I therefore found it harder to picture what had happened there. Also, at this point we were four hours into the tour and I needed a sandwich.

Fact: the two warehouses at Auschwitz (where the Nazis kept the things they took from the prisoners before either killing them or putting them to work, which would kill them within days, weeks, or months) were named after Canada (Canada I and Canada II), because Canada was seen as a land of great wealth and promise and the warehouses were where they kept the "great wealth" they plundered from the people they then murdered. And that's a strong candidate for "worst compliment Canada has ever received".

So: quite depressing, very informative, completely worthwhile. That's my review.

P.S. There were signs up all over Auschwitz with a list of "do's and don'ts", most of which were pretty self-explanatory. The one that made me laugh was "No children under 12 without parents or guardians." Because, pro tip: If you sent your ten-year-old to Auschwitz alone, you're not going to be winning any "best parent" awards.

Om Nom Nom

A couple of days ago, I mentioned the best hot chocolate in Krakow. Now I hope you didn't think I was just going to leave you hanging without a detailed description and pictures. You know me better than that.

So, the best hot chocolate in Krakow is at a cafe called Nowa Prowincja and it's so chocolatey that they have to stir it constantly to keep it from congealing. To that end, it's kept in a vat with a paddle that rotates like a cement mixer.

When you order it, which you do because you have excellent taste, it comes out of the vat in a thick stream and then they top it with a dollop of whipped cream. And then you spoooooon it out of the cup because you can't drink it like normal hot chocolate because it isn't normal hot chocolate, it's like a cross between hot chocolate and chocolate mousse.

And that's the way (uh-huh uh-huh) I like it.